I feel like somethings just fucked up my equilibrium. I’m sort of sat on a reserve tank of get-me-ups trying to restore it, but I generally sense an air of dishonesty lingering around me, and if anything there are a lot of things I could do without in my life, and a lot of people I could manage without being around me, but if it’s coming to this then I just don’t see the point.
I’m no saint but I try and work on principle - however like anyone and everyone else I don’t always adhere to the rules.
Still, the are things more important to me than trying to portray something I’m not.
And trust is hard to come by.
And I feel like I’m losing a lot of trust in things.
And a lot of trust in people.
And as much as I feel like making rushed bold decisions will not aid me in any way really, I feel a build up of it eventually happening.
There’s a lot of things I don’t agree to but I put up with. Either I’m outgrowing people around me or I’m being extremely naive, which is something I really can’t stand. People enjoy taking advantage even without realising.
I feel like right now, I’m not getting anything from life that’s really worth the sweat on my back.
Maybe a movie some drinks and good humour with some friends will buffer some of these feelings and thoughts.
This is me.
Dishonoured & Betrayed